Here it is, my I'm a parent post.

It will be long. It will be a mash up of my feelings. It is only the beginnings of my thoughts.

Let's back up a little about me.....when I was younger I was always the one who said "I am never getting married, I am never having kids" I wanted to be a free spirit. Travel the world. Live in a big city. Then I met Branko and marriage was certainly a step I wanted to take. Before we were married we had already decided that living in the country was going to be best for us. We took our time on the kids front though. We both knew we wanted to have a child one day but we had so many other things we wanted to do first. We traveled to Florida twice a year, we visited Boston and New York City. We built a home (sold it) and in the process of building a second home.

Then last September we found out I was pregnant and due in May 2015. I was so naive, I knew having a child was hard but I also thought I would still be able to do all the things I used to do. I thought once he was born I would put him in the car and trot off to the mall and stroll around. Visit friends and family freely. Was I ever wrong.

I am not a home body kind of person unless I am building something with Branko.

After my first solo car ride with him to the hospital when he was one month old I knew then and there that car rides were not going to be our thing together! Remember I live in the country, the closest grocery store is 15 minutes away. That day he had a complete melt down driving home. Screaming his head off to the point of not breathing. I panicked pulled over and tried to sooth him for 30min in the car. Finally I was able to get him in his car seat and get home. That day I felt so disappointed in myself. Like I was failing at this parenthood thing. I see other mothers all the time out and about with their little ones.

Passed out while being pushed around in the grocery store. Shoes are baby converse. Shorts, sweater and socks are all from baby gap.

I was jealous. Living in the country with a newborn was going to be much more difficult then I thought.

Everybody told me to be patient, he will change. Become easier to handle during the day. And he did. He really is a great kid. He is mostly awake during the day and takes small naps. Night time he sleeps from about 9/10pm till 4/5am.

Two weeks ago I finally attempted the car ride alone with him again. It went fairly well, I quickly walked thru the grocery store picked up what I needed and went home. Last week I tried again and it was a fail. Once I arrived into town he woke up and started crying and trying to get out of his car seat. I decided to just go home. The following day I tried again and that time was much better. He fell asleep on the car ride there, woke up in the grocery store and was just looking around. He fell asleep on the car ride home again. Any long drives are with somebody in the back seat with him. My mom has been great and coming up on the weekends. We made a trip to the mall even!

In the last two weeks he has changed so much. His smiles are natural now and come all the time. He loves to talk and have conversations. He eats well and chews on his fingers and thumb like crazy. He is getting so much better at holding his head up on his own.

I'll admit buying baby clothes is addicting. Donaldson Blue Jays Jersey and baby mocs that I won from Minimoc. These mini mocs are amazing quality and Canadian made in case you are looking for a pair.

I am looking forward to the days ahead as I am already noticing them get easier. I can get laundry and cleaning done. I can take time to sit and have a coffee. I am looking forward to Christmas when we light up our big Christmas tree and watch his eyes go big with excitement.

Life with a child is amazing and I couldn't imagine a day without him. I feel forever blessed that he came into our lives and I could sit and stare at him for hours.

On the Forever Home front, we will be getting back into things full force starting at the end of August. Branko has plans to have the garage finally closed in before the winter. We are changing the roof on the entrance of house(the only remaining old roof) The new fireplace will be installed following that and then Geo-thermal. This will have the house ready for the winter with heat. Once all of that is done we will complete the drywall and continue working inside the house during the winter months.

Hope you continue to follow along our journey to building our Forever Home. I am really looking forward to sharing with you our custom Ikea closets for the bedrooms, plans for the kitchen along with all the new appliances we decide to buy,  and which flooring we choose. Basically every step of building a home. We need to choose paint colours, buy all new furniture, pick out tiles for our bathrooms, choose our soaker tub, toilet, custom vanity counter top. Sooooo much to talk about!